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Not in Kansas Anymore

If I don't pay attention, sometimes days go by like usual, and I forget I am living in Israel. Then something strange strikes my fancy and I remember. Since everybody loves a countdown list, here are a few crazy things you don't usually see in the States...



10. December is a time of lights and festivity

and Jerusalem decorates the street lamps with holiday posts like any other. Except instead of lit up angels and candy canes, my streets are lined with lit up street lamp menorahs.

(See picture: http://realjerusalemstreets.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/img_3589.jpg)



9. IP address strikes
Certain beloved websites, such as Hulu.com are not available outside the U.S. The internet is not the free-for-all I always thought it was.



8. Americans take customer service for granted
One day you have a system set up with the bank for deposits, and the next day a new girl sits behind the counter. Her English is heavy and hard to understand, and all of sudden she's having you sign for a huge fee. You ask why you have to pay a fee today but never before. A guy next to her leans over and whispers an explanation to her. She looks at you, having already submitted the fee and says, "Ok, you don't have to pay next time."



7. Currency and measurements

Labeling has become extremely important. "I have to go deposit 10,000" "Dollars?!?" "No, Shekels." (equal to only 2,500 dollars) "Every time I weigh myself, the scale says 75" "Um, pounds?" "No, kilos." "What temp should I cook this chicken at?" "I'd say about 190" "What?" "The oven is set to Celsius."


6. IP address strikes again
No matter how many times I set my preferences to English, Google insists I can read Hebrew. Even for this blog, I've simply memorized certain buttons to push to create a new post.



5. Howdjoo know I's Amurikin?
To half of the locals, I have a flashing "AMERICAN" sign on my forehead. They don't ask me where I'm from, they ask me what state I'm from. To the other half, they not only think I'm local (a Russian Jew? I don't know) but they think I know where everything is, too. I constantly get stopped on the road and asked in Hebrew for directions.



4. Guns? Eh.
Back home, society is one-third rifle-loving hunters, one-third pacifist protesters, and one-third somewhere in the middle. In Israel, it doesn't matter what you think. IDF soldiers are everywhere, with giant automatic weapons I can't name slung over their shoulders, laughing as they stroll the street for a coffee.



3. A difference in priorites
Large street cleaners can be heard every morning down the streets of Jerusalem. They obsess over getting every single leaf on the street, and can even be seen backing up to retrieve a leaf or two left behind. Meanwhile, dogs freely squat on the sidewalks with their apathetic owners waiting and no one cleaning it up except the rain. Oh, and apparently its normal for cars to park on sidewalks too.



2. Deck the hars with bars of horry. Fra ra ra ra...
Unlike the classic movie, "A Christmas Story" in Israel, if you want to go out on Christmas day, it's not just the Asian restaurants that are open. Everything is--unless Christmas falls on the Sabbath.



1.  English, bivakisha?
You're at the hospital, and you have to call a translator in English, to talk to a doctor in Hebrew, to explain the prognosis to a translator in Arabic, so they can explain to the mother in Kurdish. So much for the days when translations went from "you guys" to "y'all."





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